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Today and Tomorrow

September 27, 2013

This morning I paused to mentally adjust my plan to spend a day of quiet solitude cleaning to the reality that Faith and Hope are home from school with fevers. Cleaning will still happen. But not with the bonus of solitude.

In my email box was a recommendation from John Knight at The Works of God to check out a post at Isaiah’s Dad. I kept reading and found this in a post Isaiah’s Dad called “Today:”

I struggle with tomorrowTomorrow likely means unhappy stuff like surgery, fevers, long recovery times, pain, discomfort, frustration, etc. In the special needs world, over time experience begins to form expectations of what will be, and as a result tomorrow can be a fearful thing. I begin to think “Tomorrow means breakthrough seizures. Tomorrow means trips to the ER. Tomorrow means waiting anxiously for the doctor to come in and say ‘Done! Everything went fine.’” For me, in my doubt and fear, tomorrow means facing the uncertainty of the things I think I’m fairly certain will happen.

Matthew 6:34 has been a go-to verse for me for many years as I’ve struggled with doubt, fear and anxiety. It’s one of those verses that I wish I could just read once and say “Whew! Everything’s going to be okay.” and go on with my life. But it’s not that easy….

That post, in its entirety, spoke to me so strongly that I began this post, only to be interrupted by Hope rapping a dowel on the wall above my desk. When I did not respond, she began flicking the light on and off to get my attention. Looking up, I saw that the tapping was incidental to her main purpose. She could not reach my magnet and had used the dowel to plaster a heart-shaped Post-It on it:


Then my email rang with a note from one of the women in my small group offering to come early and help me cook for a gathering Sunday night.

Yes: For me, in my doubt and fear, tomorrow means facing the uncertainty of the things I’m fairly certain will happen. But God has it covered.

See, if I had my gotten my hoped-for day of solitude, there would be no love note hanging above my desk. And until that email landed, I wasn’t aware that by Sunday afternoon I will be very glad to have cooking help :).

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